where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
