The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
