I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
