I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
