My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
