did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
