Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
