I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize