She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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