girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
