Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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