Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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