STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
