Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
