I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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