your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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