I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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