You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All the doctor said was why
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize