he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
