I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize