so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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