if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
