He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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