you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
