the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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