so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
