Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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