she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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