dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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