hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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