Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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