my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
