HIV tests are more positive than that guy
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
