I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize