Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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