I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
