its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
