I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
