I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
