For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
