She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
