I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
