its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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