Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
