Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
