And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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