haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
