it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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