sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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