I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
