(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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