i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
