Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize