Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
