What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
