i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
