should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Let's get the cat blown out
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize