the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
