The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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