matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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