This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
