I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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