So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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