She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she looked like the before picture.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize